should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
