Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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