I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
