Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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