THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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