if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
