I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
