it hurts more in the daytime
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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