And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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