batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
