is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman