i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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