after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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