I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
