I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
