It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
