if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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