Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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