Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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