Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
