OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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