I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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