You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
