i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
