We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
