google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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