hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
