Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
