He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I see more hoeing in ur future
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
