I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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