i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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