she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
