margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
