Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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