I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I have post one night stand depression
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
