It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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