so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
