Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
