he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.