umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize