i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
