East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
