but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize