You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
