Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize