How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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