The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
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she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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