I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize