Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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