You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
