Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
