Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
