i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
