You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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