Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Someone shattered a urinal.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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