Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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