HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
