it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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