I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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