woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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