You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.