Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm pants shitting drunk right now

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  (734): I'm pants shitting drunk right now http://tfl.nu/z85l
  Replies (4) Good night (821) Bad night (835)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  tweet Hawks Win!! tweet

  (847): View more from Illinois

  That's how twitter works, right?

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  (847): tweet Hawks Win!! tweet (847): That's how twitter works, right? http://tfl.nu/21xu
  Replies (12) Good night (1545) Bad night (915)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow

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  (240): ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow http://tfl.nu/mdzc
  Replies (10) Good night (2575) Bad night (592)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.

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  (850): My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated. http://tfl.nu/7uws
  Replies (14) Good night (1118) Bad night (4400)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.

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  (585): Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night. http://tfl.nu/iu2u
  Replies (33) Good night (3741) Bad night (1154)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days

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  (859): That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days http://tfl.nu/gxs8
  Replies (12) Good night (741) Bad night (3138)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had

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  (480): we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had http://tfl.nu/e6dk
  Replies (16) Good night (4778) Bad night (864)
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  (714): View more from California

  if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.

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  (714): if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed. http://tfl.nu/eogf
  Replies (3) Good night (2982) Bad night (898)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

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  (402): Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall. http://tfl.nu/z0q7
  Replies (9) Good night (4253) Bad night (769)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday

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  (281): Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday http://tfl.nu/9ias
  Replies (14) Good night (1433) Bad night (2816)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.

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  (208): This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week. http://tfl.nu/trjj
  Replies (4) Good night (1615) Bad night (472)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.

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  (847): I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet. http://tfl.nu/ancz
  Replies (10) Good night (3930) Bad night (613)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.

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  (660): On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics. http://tfl.nu/mn1y
  Replies (24) Good night (2679) Bad night (452)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  That depends, how hot is your boss?

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  (720): Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am? (303): That depends, how hot is your boss? http://tfl.nu/3abd
  Replies (5) Good night (784) Bad night (258)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas

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  (604): he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas http://tfl.nu/s6lv
  Replies (0) Good night (203) Bad night (296)

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