OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?