What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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