oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.