So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
