And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
