my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
